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WELCOME TO NEVER MIND THE B(OL)LOGS

Stamp Addressed Envelopes from The Edge. But not Bono.

Welcome to Never Mind The B(Ol)logs, a unique (not really) blog featuring the ramblings of an idiot who really should be trying to do something meaningful with his life. Please read then destroy your computer to be on the safe side.

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Plug it in

Act 2 Scene 1: Badminton Norse trials Val got her considerable bulk comfy behind the picnic table they had liberated (i.e., stolen) from...

Ode to One for The Road Overload

Am I alive or am I dead? Am I waking in my own bed? In my head a hamster tap dances In my stomach a lizard leaps and prances Through my...

Anti-Social Media: The Last Post

An online write up against online write ups · If you do something in life and don’t post it on Social Media did it actually happen?...

Sales from the Crypt(ocurrency)

Now we tentatively enter fall, that dread time falls As the creatures run out of supplies and must hit the malls Truly this is no...

Sitting on the offence

I thought it was just a little daft joke I didn't realise the anger that was about to awoke My pisspoor puns only aim is to raise a smile...

0.02% inspiration

Its not behind the settee Or hiding at the back of my knee This missing inspiration is taking the pissing out of me All the words I try...

Dan Ackroyd stole my childhood sense of joy

The death of innocence as a child is a significant moment. I’m not talking the first loss of family, friends or even a pet. That’s a...

Shameless self publicity

In case I haven't bored you rigid via other mediums then just to publicise here that my book (if you can call it that) is now self...

2020 Hindsight

I came in unassumingly enough as you played Another promising decade of what to be made? I gave early warning with ravaging bush fires...

Trump Limericks

There was a near human called Don Trump Who looked like a dry yeti dump He lost the election And also his erection So he took a dollar...

Pumpkin up the Pieces

Just a used pumpkin rolling down a hill Insides gone to a warming soup My lit silhouette caused children a chill My hollowed likeness...

Creatures of the Night; Day Trippers

And once more the magical time of year had come For the creatures of the night to get out and have some fun Preparations made for their...

Chapter – First of the Winter Moonshine

Odin sat on the office swivel chair nervously turning one way and then another. He involuntarily kept playing with his tie, it was itchy...

As high as the sun?

Dina nervously trudged up the moss strewn path. A walk she’d done a hundred times, but never with legs so heavy and heart so weary. She...

Manhunt for the Manchester MerrMen

Diary of Dr Ellen Stainton chief scientific officer for the government response to the global warming flooding catastrophe. May 5th 2024:...

Where the Themes have no name

If you’re wondering why the creature from the haunted sea is being use to advertise this blog, then no reason, he just looks to me like a...

Lea Gull: Legal Eagle Seagull

Let me tell you a story about Lea Gull She was the Seagull Legal Eagle Looked down on by the other lawyer birds of prey She had to work...

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