Anti-Social Media: The Last Post

An online write up against online write ups

· If you do something in life and don’t post it on Social Media did it actually happen?

· Do you have to keep an online presence up to continue to exist in people’s minds?

· If you’re posting about how much of an amazing time you’re having, are you actually having such an amazing time?

· How many pictures of cute kids is too many?

· What day is it?

None of these questions and more were passing through my mind as I decided to give up social media for a month. There was no real reason for me to give it up, I wasn’t unhappy on it necessarily and I wasn’t an addicted user (I don’t think, but I’ve been injecting Pinterest into my veins for the last month), but in spare times in the day I’d find myself going on social media and scrolling through posts of things that weren’t particularly interesting me for 5 minutes and wondered if this was the best use of my time (disclaimer: even without social media I still haven’t found the best use of my time, just new ways of procrastinating).

Don’t get me wrong, there are some amazing, beautiful and hilarious things being posted out there, many have made me laugh and warmed my heart. But on top of that there is a lot of stuff that doesn’t really do anything for me. Plus, the adverts and the algorithms trying to data mine you to get more tailored marketing to you. That’s a bit sinister no?

I have to acknowledge my own hypocrisy here. I post regularly on social media. Generally, one of four things 1. A piss poor pun I’ve thought of (sorry everyone!) 2. Photos of the sky 3. An article that I’ve genuinely found fascinating or 4. An update on my mum, as I want people to know how she is, and people ask about her (thanks for doing so).

I think the main reason I write, and share is, not because I have an innate gift, cos I really don’t have that (and I aint saying that to fish for compliments), though I think I have moments of coming up with something that works for people, as I’ve had a few different people saying they’ve enjoyed something I’ve written. So, either I’ve mistaken them being nice for sincerity, or occasionally I get something right (monkeys on typewriters and all that).

I’ve always worked on the principle of if I’ve made one person smile/chuckle, I’ve succeeded in doing one thing of worth that day. That said, for the one person I made smile I probably made 50 groan so maybe best I don’t look into the net result too much. I also write as I’m needy like I think most of us have become due to modern living. So, I try to hide behind a noble cause but I’m probably finding excuses for myself as I’m a hypocrite (see above).

I’ve always had Social Media rules for myself (that must be the Civil Servant or ex Warhammer nerd in me that has to codify everything). Essentially (and I’ve probably broken all these rules – did I mention I was a hypocrite?):

1. Don’t post anything fishing for people to ask how you are “Feeling sad…” etc. Admittedly maybe we should get better at taking the time to ask how people are, so they don’t need to telegraph when they’re in need of a hug, virtual or real.

2. Don’t use Social Media to advertise anything (as in an advert for a company rather than selling your stash of Maxim magazines from 1999 – who doesn’t want luxurious toilet paper?). If you’re reliant on Social Media for your business I get it, but I’ve no excuse. Wait is putting links to my blogs advertising? Man, I’m a hypocrite.

3. Don’t post messages to people who aren’t on social media, or you live with: “wishing my wonderful wife a very happy birthday” – great look up from your phone and shout that across the room to her.

4. No pictures of my food, though maybe people would be interested in the variety of ways I have to spice up a pot noodle, so, so many varieties.

5. Minimum number of selfies. If I’m using it for humour fine (beside I don’t live with anyone to take the photos). Besides with a face like this, hilarity usually ensues when I take a photo of myself.

Why should I hold people to my rules? How can I criticise anyone and what they choose to share when my posts may be of no interest to others? I’ve no right to judge here surely? The answer comes back to the beginning. I’m a hypocrite. There is a theme here isn’t there?

Another worry I have about Social Media is that we’re living our lives through how something looks to others rather than do we enjoy it for itself. As example of this was I saw a beautiful sunset which I was going to take a picture of and then I thought ‘but I’m not on social media to share it’. I could then have taken the photo for my own pleasure but I asked myself, why do I need the photo to show me what it looked like, I should just enjoy the experience of the sunset for what it is, I didn’t need the photo memento (NB, I’m not saying I won’t be posting pictures of sunsets in the future I bloody love a good sunset)

In conclusion, it seems that social media isn’t without its troubles but also its things that make it of worth. The trick is to enjoy the bits you enjoy and not lose too much sleep over the parts you don’t like, leave it and move on rather than hate it (don’t ask me to follow that principle, I’m a hypocrite).

I think there is a general lesson for life there, enjoy what you enjoy and leave people to happily enjoy what they enjoy, if it’s not your thing that’s OK, find what you do like rather than sneer or try and ruin their pleasures.

I like that message; I think I’ll share it.