Ode to One for The Road Overload

Am I alive or am I dead?

Am I waking in my own bed?

In my head a hamster tap dances

In my stomach a lizard leaps and prances

Through my bones a creeping dread

As I remember the drunken shite I said

Further under my sheets I slid and hid

As I remember all the drunken things I did

Though I should be OK I vent

I picked beers weaker by 0.2 per cent

In my head I tally and tot

That I probably had one or five of shots

I decipher the drunken messages I sent

Those words I really shouldn’t have spent

Did I really send a WhatsApp that late?

Was that after full throated singing to that song I definitely hate?

But I took all the precautions to save me from slaughter

The grease ridden food and pre bed glass of water

How can I have remembered to take ibuprofen

And yet manage to still feel so damn broken?

The film of my night has so many missing frames

The shopping trolley we attempted to tame

I felt like all knew I was the lord of the dance

Now I’m too scared to check my bank balance

If I can force and keep some food down

Maybe then I’ll feel a little more sound

Knock back a large glass of the black aspirin

Will that sail me to the shores of the land of the living?

As the endless day reaches towards the end

Feeling akin to human, I think I’m on the mend

Last night was Friday it dawns on me then

It’s now Saturday night, we go again

I’m an idiot