A Hundred Thousand Steps in The Wrong Direction

If I do 100,000 steps in the month wouldn’t that be brill?

This walking achievement is entirely of my own free will

100,000 steps that’s only 45 miles

I’ll feel miles better about myself, be all smiles

I did 14,157 steps in my first day the numbers are mounting

That’s a lot of pacing, but really who is counting?

Did I have a nice walk on this glorious summer day?

I’m not sure yet, let see what my band has to say

In your house do you mind if I spend a penny

Yes I know the upstairs toilet is further that’s extra steps a many

That was an amazing walk I felt I just did

What do you mean only 3,415 steps, who are you trying to kid?!

A watched kettle never boils they say

But if I pace while I wait that’s another 70 steps got away

It’s getting a bit late according to the clock

But there is another 98 steps in it if I do another lap of the block

Going to bed I keep the watch fascist on tight

Might get a few extra steps in if I need a wee in the night

This step pest is getting to me I could stay up and weep

The only problem is this wrist police is also monitoring my sleep

This preoccupation can’t carry on (and on and on)

This is walk and run without the fun

Can I give up this obsession, rediscover my pep?

Only one way to find out; a journey of 45 miles begins with a single step