Little Forest Johnson – Bum Crisis

“Woe is me, what can I do?”

Said Little Forest Johnson

“I don’t seem to be able to poo

This really, really can’t go on!”

Little Forest Johnson (111) called his doctor

The doctor said “I have a thesis,

It’s the bum bug, you’ll poo no more,

Right now this is a bum crisis!”

Little Forest Johnson asked the Rockin’ Raabbi

“What do I do? I feel like a loon.”

The Rockin’ Raabbi asked how about he try

Drinking curry juice with a side of prune

Little Forest Johnson went to Roving Gove

“I need the toilet by any means!”

Roving Gove gave his tum a shove

And spoke, “How about pickled egg and beans?”

Little Forest Johnson called on Itsy Bitty Priti Patel

Who looked at him with disdain,

He asked, “What do I do to feel well?”

Her reply came; “All of us have to take the pain.”

Little Forest Johnson sought Plastic Mac Sunak

Showing him his bum, which was quite a sight

Plastic Mac Sunak gave his bum a whack

And said, “Well spend to get your bottom right!”

Little Forest Johnson visited Matty Handycock

His advice he hoped he could call

Matty Handycock looked on his botty in shock

Declaring “For you it’s off to hospital!”

Little Forest Johnson lay in hospital bed

When visited by a little blond boy

Who took a look at his backside and said

“I have just the ploy!”

So, the little boy moved up too Little Forest Johnsons Head

Ready to play his part

And strained until his face went red

Letting out an enormous FART

And with that terrible smell Little Forest Johnson was better

He himself letting out an enormous great ripe trump

Which smelt of broccoli and eggs, but wetter

And bellowing joy at this wind breaking triumph

Weeks later Little Forest Johnson sent a letter to the boy

Telling him how hit botty was no longer broke or amiss

And how the boy’s smelly fart had brought him joy

Thanking the boy for ending, his horrible bum crisis

The blonde boy received the letter from Little Forest Johnson

To which he said “this isn’t my finest hour,

After all, when all is said and done,

I just wanted to fart on the head of someone in power!”