I Need All in the Sleigh Shack (Pleasant in the Present)

To be cool and not a fool this Yule

I ask for a few things that will fuel my drool

I want:

A flatpack jetpack made out of flapjack

The entire contents of Santa's bulging sack

To make a racket in a rickety rocket car

Wear an olden, golden conical bra

To take a cheering ride on a forlorn, careworn unicorn

Take a seat at dawn on the throne of a king prawn

A pet wookie and some mucky pups

All the chuppa-chups, flumps and silver cups

A cavernous creaking cache case of cash

A massive immersive mistletoe festive bash

All the colours and shapes of sweets and candy

Washed down with a magic farting potion the colour of brandy

A crikey Christmas dinner with all the trimmings

A cheeky chocca cheese board thats actually slimming

A ho ho ho go on a pogo made of lego

A so so flight on a showy day-glow crow

And wait now I see I was being so silly

Wanting all the gifts just willy nilly

You can leave all those things quite happily be

All I need is me and my family around the Christmas tree