Chapter and Terse

Not had time to write anything original this week (ever?!), and I'm not passing that word search off. So in a cheat and an attempt to say I've been creative, here is a rough draft chapter from a book I'm (still) attempting to write.

Chapter Next - Magical Mystery Bore

Somewhere[1] on IzzyWhizzyLetsGetBusyDonia, Suzie entered the hut of the Elder[2]. The elder sat cross legged on a multi-coloured rug whilst potions bubbled away in the background. Rumour had it the elder was trying to synthesise an affordable fruit smoothie, but most felt that was witchcraft beyond even her means.

The elder motioned for Suzie to join her on the rug, Suzie wondered why they couldn’t sit on the comfy sofa in the corner of the hut, but complied with the request. The elder offered Suzie a cup, Suzie took a draught, a steaming bubbling dreamlike liquid assaulted her senses “Ah warm fizzy Vimto,” she declared satisfied.

“Thank you for coming Suzie”, the elder began her voice cracked and croaky, probably from having the air condition on in the hut too long. “We have noted your progress with a very watchful eye, of course we keep the other watchful eye on the bingo numbers – its got to be our turn soon right?” The elder seemed to drift away on her thoughts, then came back to herself “Kudos on defeating the Fleetwood-Mac dragon of Middleoftheroadonia. We now believe you have honed your craft to make yourself the most powerful wizard of our number.

“Oh thanks.” Suzie blushed, “It was nothing really, I got a bit lucky with some of the spells”, she deflected modestly “I really didn’t think the giant marriage guidance counsellor I conjured was going to be so effective.”.

“The timing of you reaching this status is very fortuitous, almost a complete fluke that makes no sense if you take time to ponder it. But, lets not do that.” The elder seemed to speed up her talking “There is serious stuff afoot. Possibly as high as the knee” The Elder stated, Suzie leaned forward looking her in her non Bingo eye, when they clashed noses, she realised she had leaned too far. “There is news of discovery, a troubling discovery. What those that came before me called The Marigold of Bossiness, has had its whereabouts revealed.”

“And were this to full in the wrong hands, the whole world would be subjected to tyranny and oppression?” Suzie enquired.

The Elder caught her breath, “Blimey! I didn’t realise you had mastered the power of reading the nylon strings of the future as well. Well I don’t need to tell you” The Elder began, before going on to tell her the needs “That given the severity of this situation, I want you to quest to retrieve the glove. Make this the highest priority you have, actually finish making the balloons shaped like animals for my daughters birthday party first yeah?”

Suzie smiled and nodded. Walruses. She most liked making the walruses.

“Also”, the Elder sat upright, “the elder, elders, the elderests, also foresaw a prophecy. A being of such great power that may tame the powers of the glove and lead the universe in a direction of peace and prosperity, or at the very least a period of ‘meh-ness’. See if you can look them up while you’re out please?”

Suzie rubber her hands together in a gesture that no one does anymore. “sounds like a laugh, count me in” she chuckled, and rose to her feet gingerly, trying to regain the feeling in her legs, buttocks and her right tricep. She bowed and made her way to the hut door.

“Suzie” The Elder called after her “Be careful, we’re talking about the fate of the universe here”.

Suzie nodded solemnly, “Yeah I’ll give it a whirl. These things usually work out OK.”. Suzie grabbed the handle of the hut door and turned.

“Suzie” The Elder called again, a tremor in her powerful voice “Can you put the bin out on your way out please?”

Suzie left the hut picked up the black bin which rattled heavily to the sound of glass bottles and cans, she played the news she had just heard around in her head. The prophecies had always warned there would be a point where the universe would be tested and the forces of light and dark would collide and she, Suzie, Master of the Wizards was going to get a mention in the credits. She rolled the bin and left it by the gate, wandering off whistling a bright but tuneless ditty to herself.

“Green bin this week!” a muffled voice bellowed from inside the hut.

Notes:

[1] Almost certainly Suzie’s village all things considered. [2] A name disliked by the Elder, who is only 46, but that’s tradition for you.